Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Modern Romance

Apparently guys are more into intimacy than we thought...

In a recent study by Catherine Mosher (Duke U.) and Sharon Danoff-Burg (U. of Albany), 237 college undergrads were asked about their priorities when it comes to career goals, romantic relationships, friendships, etc. - and what they would sacrifice for romance.

"Overall, 61 percent of the guys chose a romantic relationship rather than achievement goals, while 51 percent of gals chose romance. The boys and men were particularly more likely to swap a career, education and traveling for 'charming companions'."

Reeeeeeally? Sounds incredibly comforting, since the boys have a nasty reputation for shunning commitment until the possibility of dying old, crusty and alone is all of the sudden pretty freakin' real. But, don't start planning the big day just yet, Bridezilla...

We see from the results that more dudes picked romance - but how they specifically define romance is the real question. Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the U. of Michigan comments, "Maybe for the men they're thinking close romantic relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean long-term commitment of getting married and having children."

So, what is it we're seeing here? Are women evolving past the societal expectation that we'll follow the yellow brick road to old age with a husband, 2.5 children and a white picket fence? Or - is proverbial, old school, Cary Grant-like romance officially dead and been replaced with, "I get horny an awful lot, and I'd love for you to be around"?

I'm not saying marriage is right or wrong, feminist or unfeminist - I believe in people doing what they feel is right for themselves and not stifling a part of their personality because they think they need to fit into a certain role. That being said, about half my friends want to get married (or are already engaged) and half aren't entertaining the thought whatsoever. For my generation, marriage is not so much a rite of passage, but a life choice. Today, you can't seriously date someone and automatically expect that in 5 years, tops, your beau will get down on one knee. If a person does want to marry, though, they probably should find out early on if their partner is on board or not (better now than later, right?). But, when do you even bring up these life goals, and decide if you and Mr./Ms. Right are truly compatible - when most of these goals are so long-term, they're not even relevant?

Yeah, kids - this is the shit you don't see in the movies.

1 comment:

Mark Rooster said...

I agree with what you said about marriage being less of a rite of passage now, viwed more as a life commitment. Doesn't seem that marriage is viewed to be as much of a "necessity" as it did decades ago.