Not again.

I thought it was rigoddamndiculous when Hillary Clinton's cleavage became big news, so you can imagine how very un-thrilled I am with this.

It's real cute how they try to be balanced by mentioning "Fred Thompson's facial creases" and "the dark circles under Giuliani's eyes," but who's their real bread and butter? "Candidates for Mom of the Year."

Gag.

I better never run into this guy...

So, this garbage actually made "Best of Craigslist." Not only is it completely sexist and hateful, but it really just sounds like some dude's pathetic attempt at revenge the day after he had his heart broken.

Wah Wah Wah. Quit your whining.

I wasn't sure about posting this at first (why the hell would I want to further publicize this sad, sad piece of crap?), but what the hell. After all, my whole point is to draw attention to sexism that's floating around out there, all comfortable and shit like it's normal...

Thanks to Feministing for original post.

Big girls don't cry

The beat goes on.

And by "beat," I mean raging sexism and ridiculous double standards.

Many experts would agree that crying is a human reaction - a coping mechanism brought on by certain emotions and feelings. Of course, in a polarized culture such as ours - where everything is black/white, good/evil, right/wrong, male/female - human reations are not going to be viewed the same if they're coming from different sexes.

Apparently, it's now fashionable for men to shed tears in public (just a few!) - but if women do, well then, they're just as crazy and irrational as we always thought they were!

Two words: Bull. Shit. Not that it was any better for men to be viewed as weak if their eyes welled up, but why should something so natural as crying be seen as sensitivity in men and insanity in women?

Remember Ellen DeGeneres' recent outburst of emotion on her talk show? I watched the segment on the Internet and thought, "Wow, she really feels terrible - I hope everything works out." However, comic Bill Maher thought differently; that it's probably not a good idea for womankind to be showing large-scale emotions at a time when one of our own is running for office. "If I was a woman," he said, "I would be embarrassed right now. I would be embarrassed for all womankind."

Embarrassed? Wow. Hear that, ladies? Suck it up - if not for yourselves, for Hillary...because she is a reflection of all women, and we are all a reflection of her capability.

(Just to clarify, that was sarcasm.)

Foxes in the henhouse

Last week, President Bush appointed Susan Orr to head federal family planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Maybe this wouldn't be such a big deal if Orr wasn't quoted as saying contraception is part of "the culture of death."

Yup, here we go again. No surprise that Bush seeks out other nutty die-hard conservatives to oversee federal programs, not because they are by any means qualified - but because they've shown their loyalty to the Grand Old Party. For instance, not only does Orr disapprove of birth control, but she also supports abstinence-only education, was an adjunct professor at televangelist Pat Robertson’s Regent University, and wrote "Real Women Stay Married" back in 2000. In the paper, Orr said that women should "think about focusing our eyes, not upon ourselves, but upon the families we form through marriage."

She sounds like the perfect candidate to head anything related to FAMILY PLANNING. Right.

Weirdo of the day: Phil Kline

Phil Kline, former Kansas state attorney general, is continuing his quest to make life suck for abortion providers. Kline recently filed a slew of felony and misdemeanor charges against Comprehensive Health of Planned Parenthood of Kansas and Mid-Missouri. He claims the health center provided illegal late-term abortions.

Kline has a history of messing with Planned Parenthood. In a previous suit, "he sought the names and personal information of women and girls who had had abortions at the Planned Parenthood clinic and one other medical facility." Um, last time I checked, medical records were private...

On a positive note, it seems most everyone knows Kline is a weirdo. Now a Johnson County district attorney, Kline lost the state attorney general seat to Democrat Paul Morrison. Turns out people weren't too thrilled with the idea of Kline involving evangelical churches in his campaign operation...

Modern Romance

Apparently guys are more into intimacy than we thought...

In a recent study by Catherine Mosher (Duke U.) and Sharon Danoff-Burg (U. of Albany), 237 college undergrads were asked about their priorities when it comes to career goals, romantic relationships, friendships, etc. - and what they would sacrifice for romance.

"Overall, 61 percent of the guys chose a romantic relationship rather than achievement goals, while 51 percent of gals chose romance. The boys and men were particularly more likely to swap a career, education and traveling for 'charming companions'."

Reeeeeeally? Sounds incredibly comforting, since the boys have a nasty reputation for shunning commitment until the possibility of dying old, crusty and alone is all of the sudden pretty freakin' real. But, don't start planning the big day just yet, Bridezilla...

We see from the results that more dudes picked romance - but how they specifically define romance is the real question. Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the U. of Michigan comments, "Maybe for the men they're thinking close romantic relationship, but that doesn't necessarily mean long-term commitment of getting married and having children."

So, what is it we're seeing here? Are women evolving past the societal expectation that we'll follow the yellow brick road to old age with a husband, 2.5 children and a white picket fence? Or - is proverbial, old school, Cary Grant-like romance officially dead and been replaced with, "I get horny an awful lot, and I'd love for you to be around"?

I'm not saying marriage is right or wrong, feminist or unfeminist - I believe in people doing what they feel is right for themselves and not stifling a part of their personality because they think they need to fit into a certain role. That being said, about half my friends want to get married (or are already engaged) and half aren't entertaining the thought whatsoever. For my generation, marriage is not so much a rite of passage, but a life choice. Today, you can't seriously date someone and automatically expect that in 5 years, tops, your beau will get down on one knee. If a person does want to marry, though, they probably should find out early on if their partner is on board or not (better now than later, right?). But, when do you even bring up these life goals, and decide if you and Mr./Ms. Right are truly compatible - when most of these goals are so long-term, they're not even relevant?

Yeah, kids - this is the shit you don't see in the movies.

Toot My Horn Tuesday

My first article for RH Reality Check was published today! Check it out here.

Body love

This list is from Courtney Martin via Feministing - it's so kick-ass, I just had to post it:

Ten Things You Can Do Right Now to Love Your Body

1. Make the radical choice to commit to healing your relationship with your body.

2. Never diet. Never ever. It is a $31 billion industry that fails 95% of the time. That's just stupid.

3. Reconnect with your authentic hungers. When are you hungry? When are you full? What are you hungry for?

4. Move in ways (African dance, yoga, running, sex...) that make you feel happy instead of adhering to strict fitness regimens.

5. Add a compassionate voice to the chorus in your head.

6. Don't spend money on products made by companies that make you feel inadequate. Duh.

7. Stop hanging out with toxic people that make you feel bad about yourself.

8. Change conversations about weight to conversations about wellbeing.

9. Nominate someone for the REAL Hot 100.

10. Redefine your notion of success to include your own wellness - including joy, fulfillment, resilience, and self-love.

***

Ask any woman - we bond over how much we hate our bodies. Really, it's pretty fucked up. And I don't claim to be above all the crap that tries to keep us hating ourselves - it's something I struggle with, too (especially because I consider myself a feminist, and I feel like I should be past it all). But think about it: a group of women are talking about how much they've eaten this week, how much they hate their thighs, how wide they think their asses are - if there's a woman there who has nothing negative to say about her body, if she's totally comfortable in her own skin, then she's looked at differently. Cause, geez, how could she not have anything negative to say? Who does she think she is?

Why is it weird to be comfortable with our own bodies?? And why is it so fucking normal to hate yourself??

Check out Courtney's book, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body.

Birth control in middle school

King Middle School will now offer prescription birth control in the student health center, making them the first middle school in the state of Maine to offer a full range of contraception to students in 6th-8th grade.

Students who have parental permission to be treated at the school's health center are eligible to request birth control without notifying their parents.

Although only 2 out of 12 members of the Portland school board voted against offering contraceptives, feelings among parents are mixed. Check out some of the reader comments
following the story in The Portland Press Herald...

Cause college chicks really don't know what they want.

Apparently, that's what Austin Scott thinks.

The Penn State University football player was charged with raping a woman in his campus apartment on October 5.

Scott told police the two went back to his place after some drinks, and the woman said she was not going to have sex with him. Scott added, "Girls will say that they do not want to have sex with you, but then they get to your room."

Ok, let's clear a few things up here:

1.) If a woman meets you for drinks, that does not mean she wants you to have sex with her.
2.) If a woman gets a little tipsy, that does not mean she wants you to have sex with her.
3.) If a woman says she does not want to have sex with you, that does not mean she really wants to have sex with you.
4.) If a woman watches TV with you while sitting in bed, that does not mean she wants you to have sex with her.
5.) If a woman lets you "cop a feel," that still does not mean she also wants your dick in her.

Do I need to keep going???

Spotlight on teen dating abuse

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I'd like to give a shout-out to loveisrespect.org, The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. It's a fantastic resource for teens experiencing intimate partner violence - not to mention their concerned parents, friends and anyone who'd like more information on the subject. Since the site launched last year, their 24-hour helpline has had over 6,118 phone and live chat contacts.

People hear "intimate partner violence" or "domestic violence," and they tend to think of it as an adult issue - but that's not the case. According to loveisrespect.org, 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.

And abuse isn't just physical; it can be mental and emotional - and just as debilitating.

So ladies, make sure your partner treats you well. And forget all the emo bullshit: no one intentionally hurts the one they love.

Did you remember your gender today?

Khadijah Farmer never expected to be bullied and humiliated at a New York City restaurant.

She, her girlfriend and another friend went out to the Caliente Cab Company after New York's Gay Pride Parade last June. When Farmer left her party to use the women's restroom, a bouncer followed her in, banged on her stall door and demanded she leave. Farmer, who opts for men's suits rather than makeup, attempted to show the bouncer her ID - to prove she was "woman enough" to use the women's room. The employee refused to listen to Farmer, and proceeded to throw her and her friends out.

It's no surprise many people are uncomfortable with ambiguous ways of exhibiting gender, but honestly, I can't see how Farmer was hurting anyone or creating a dangerous atmosphere by being herself. In short: who fucking cares?! Who cares what people wear or how they define themselves, as long as they are comfortable with who they are?

Michael Silverman, staff attorney from the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund of New York City, said it best this morning on the Today show:

"In this case, we believe the fundamental issue is, who gets to decide whether someone’s gender expression is appropriate? Is it Khadijah, or is it every bouncer in a restaurant? Is it every employer or manager who says, ‘Well, would you try a strand of pearls? Maybe that would make you look more feminine. Maybe we’d like you more in the workplace’?"

There's some food for thought.

Guys, please be responsible and pop some pills.

It takes two to tango, if ya know what I mean (wink, wink). Now, medical researchers are finally applying that old cliche to birth control options. That's right fellas - you will soon have more contraceptive choices than the good old love glove.

Hang on to your pill packs, ladies - the male birth control pill is a-comin'! The manly version of the oral contraceptive could be out on the market within five to seven years. And don't worry dudes, there's no estrogen here - the hormones in the male pill are strictly testosterone and progestin, which apparently lower sperm count when used together.

And pills are only the beginning - implants could be approved even sooner! For those who aren't familiar with implants, I'm not talkin' saline. The women's version, Norplant (which is now off the market and being replaced with Implanon), consists of six little hormone-filled plastic rods about the size of matchsticks. A health care professional inserts them in her upper arm and they're effective for five years. Implanon is one rod, instead of Norplant's six, and stays effective for up to three years.

Ah yes, the joys of pregnancy prevention can now be shared by the men in our life - right on :)

Finally!!

After much - uh, bullshit - the city of Aurora, Illinois allowed Planned Parenthood of the Chicago Area to open the doors of its new health center on October 1st! For a little more background on the controversy, check out this little beauty from the archives.

Take that, anti-choice weirdos!